So I haven't blogged in awhile.
And for good reason.
I've been really bogged down with work the past few weeks.
The first week of school was horrible for me.
Everything realistically was going ok.
But I was so upset, down, depressed, etc.
And I'm even commuting.
I hated my life.
Despite those facts, I made a friend named Lindsi.
She's pretty cool and i spend 90% of my free time with her.
My piano class is going pretty well, and choir is crazy!
My nerves tho, are driving me insane.
It's hard to sleep and all that stuff.
September fest was last weekend.
It was fun.
I got to see everyone again.
I really missed them...
I keep trying to make plans with my friends, but I don't think they want to.
I fear that there are several of my friends, who no longer want anything to do with me.
And it makes no sense at all.
They keep blowing me off.
They could just say they didnt want to and it would be over.
But instead they lead me on, as if everything is okay, and they want to hang out.
But then ditch.
I don't know, maybe its just me.
But seeing my old friends, makes me happy.
I miss them.
College feels like an alternate reality,
and high school is my real life.
I wondered for awhile if I needed to change majors.
If I should be a teacher or not.
Mom and dad say that I need to go into music some how.
They say my voice is too good to waste.
But I feel as if everyone here is better than me.
Or at least most of them.
I fear I'm not good enough.
But that's not new no is it?
ha.
But yeah....
I think I'm heading to the choir room now.
Much Love,
Awiison
